The first is to arrive early--even if it does mean I have to sit through the various promos and commercials that run incessantly before the trailers even begin. I try to arrive in time for the last few of these--there's no point in arriving 30 minutes beforehand--even if you do bring a book to read as I do. Mainly, it's important to arrive before the lights dim. Trying to find a seat in the dark is not fun for anyone. The second is if there are two entrances to the theater, I always go in the one least frequented. This usually means I'm more likely to find a seat more quickly and easily. The third rule is that I tend to sit farthest away from the screen. Ideally you should approximate the width of the screen and sit roughly half that distance away from it. However I have found that this means that people are then more likely to sit around you and more importantly, sit behind you. Which leads me to the fourth rule--wherever I sit, I try not to sit directly behind someone. Accidentally kicking someone's seat is just as annoying to them as when you do it on purpose. By sitting in the very back, I am able to avoid being kicked in the back, but I would not recommend it every time. In the really big movie theaters, it's likely worth the risk of getting kicked or having to sit near people to sit closer to the middle. The fifth rule is to shut my mouth when the trailers start. A lot of people think that the "quiet, please" rule does not apply until the movie starts. This is false. As soon as the theater darkens, mouths should close. The sixth rule is not to talk during the film. Laughing, crying, gasping, and making inarticulate sounds of anger/fear are allowed--but no talking. And finally the seventh rule is to stay through the end credits. Usually people are up and out of their seats as soon as the lights come up. I think it far more appropriate and necessary to stay seated until after the last copyright notice (sadly ever more present and LONG nowadays) has rolled by. There are two reasons for this. The first is you never know if they're going to slip something in either during or after the credits--an extra scene or even an abbreviated gag reel. Additionally the credit sequence is occasionally made to be appealing as possible. The second reason is that the purpose of the credits is to list all the people who made the film--movie--moving picture--motion picture--that you have just experienced are listed. From the payroll assistant to best boys to costume designers to stand ins, they all had a part and it is the least we as the audience can do to sit and watch their names roll by. Plus you have the added bonus of knowing how many assistants a particular actor, director or producer required which can then sometimes lead to shaking your head in amazement at that number--who honestly needs three assistants?

And, if you must know, the five films I saw--again, all in one day--were Hitman, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, Enchanted, No Country for Old Men and August Rush.

Now that I've explained my rules, you should feel free to employ them yourselves.